With parties and balls and get-togethers, just around the table (in a very literal sense), we are sure you are getting more and more anxious about your table manners. To need to fear: the Kings of Etiquette are here. We have learned through trial and error--that is to say, spills and stained frills--many important rules that should never be broken and others that can occasionally be broken. Here is our best advice to keep you from making a spilling stork of yourself at the next fancy meal you attend.
2: Since we're on the topic, it is also unacceptable to untie the waiter's apron. It may look tempting, but try to restrain yourself and everyone else who will have to deal with the waiter for the rest of the evening will thank you.
3: Oh, and don't forget to give the waiter a tip, such as how to tie a tie in a less frumpy looking way, how to tie your shoes in a way that won't let them come untied while you're walking around with trays, or how to deal with children.
4: Prepare yourself for the extravagant, chandelier-high prices. They need it to pay the laundromats, we're sure. Besides, they probably think you can afford it since you usually show up to those kinds of dinners wearing fancy clothes.
5: Try to remember to bring shoes to change into. Because stalking around in winter boots is...noisy, to say the least and makes you more liable to knock into someone and cause a spill.
6: Whispering and giggling looks unprofessional and un-Kingly. If you must address someone, try giving the address loudly, so no one will think you're talking about their silly hats behind their backs, or making fun of them, or worse, bored.
7: Singing "Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer" or "My Darling Clementine" or any song is not proper behaviour. If a little child (or grownup) starts indulging in some merry cajoling, try to suppress them with your white handkerchief (that you are not supposed to blow your nose on) or use your tie.
8: The valet is parking our car, not stealing it. So there is really no need to start bawling, Cayla. Although we do make allowance for people who were sleeping and then were woken up abruptly and dropped to the snow ground because snow coats are slippery.
9: If your sister absolutely refuses to not bring her baby doll or your brother absolutely refuses not to bring a toy car, try to bring the kind that doesn't make noise, or take the take the batteries out. Baby dolls crying and saying "Mama!" and cars making car noises aren't exactly dignified.
10: When you reach across a table--actually, you're not supposed to. If you need something that is out of reach and you do not have a grabbing stick under your chair, try asking the person next to you or the person in front of you to pass it. If they don't hear, yell as quietly as you can.
And the list could go on and on forever, but we hope you will have a better idea on how to act next time you attend a dressed-up event.
Yours sincerely, and blushing over a few memories,
Adrien wiping his hands on the waiter is hilarious!
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